Never Alone

“When they call to me, I will answer them; when they are in trouble, I will be with them.” Psalm 91:15a

The sun streamed in through the window casting a checker board of morning light onto the walnut blonde floor, like a flamboyant guest without an invitation. My fingers tapped incessantly as my arms lay at both sides of my hospital gown on the bed. Thoughts flew wildly around my head, like a trapped parakeet in a closed room.

How long with this outpatient procedure take? What are they actually going to do to me? What will I do if I need help with my home I.V. infusions? What am I doing? I want my mom! I am . . . alone.

I was alone. At the beginning of a series of tests, doctors visits, outpatient procedures, and numerous questions circling my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis–I was alone.

I wasn’t just “alone” in that hospital room in Dallas, Texas that morning. I was alone in my life at that time, and not due to a lack of people. I was single, with a family that loved me, however, they lived miles away from me. I had many acquaintances–neighbors at my apartment complex, friends at my church, co-workers at my job. They were just that though–acquaintances; casual familiarities. Despite my efforts, I didn’t feel I fit in to their circles of friendship. Although I knew “people”, there was certainly no one I felt comfortable enough with to share my hospital experience.

Yes. Alone.

Some people are happily single. Some–are single and feel alone. Some folks are happily married. Some are married . . . and feel alone.

Loneliness is real. That feeling of isolation and hollow emptiness. Disconnection. Oddly, you don’t even have to “be” alone to feel it. We all have experienced life events or moments in time that have left us feeling lonely. There are also those who exist in this state of being, constantly.

For those suffering from loneliness, the arrival of the annual Valentine’s Day holiday seems to add a pronounced dot at the end of an exclamation point. We’re surrounded by a plethora of ideas to proclaim feelings; greeting cards, flowers, candy, gifts. Magazine advertisements, retail store promotions, television programs all reaching out to suggest ways to give publicity to or encourage expressions of . . . love. Even grocery stores devote entire sections to the holiday fanfare.

If you’re living in a state of true loneliness, Valentine’s Day can almost feel as though salt is being poured into a wound. I believe it isn’t just because we may long for a significant other, or “soul mate” to share our life with. The reality? We all long to be loved.

Do you know that God is the ultimate giver of love? He has designed us for love. He has purposed us for relationship–a relationship with Him, which promises His continual love, comfort, and peace.

Maybe you feel alone in your circumstances today. Maybe you feel alone in your life right now. Perhaps, you find yourself in the midst of a crowd and feel . . . alone. Cry out to God. Let Him heal your pain and give you a peace like no other. His word promises you are never alone, and that He will always be right there with you.

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:8